Me + tablet + time²

I was watching Apocalypto the other day (awesome movie, go see it) in which the titular character is called Jaguar Paw, or Jaguar for short, who is seven types of awesome and sneaky and really fucking bad-ass. And because my mind hasn't been out of the Losers gutter for a while, I came to Jaguar = Cougar as a conclusion. And then I watched Disney's El Dorado shortly after which didn't help me any.

And it made me realise:

I need the AU fic where Cougar is a native. Like a The Losers/El Dorado crossover (omg *dies*)